Why women are pants at buying new underwear

Looking good: But only a third of women buy matching bra and knicker sets

A lady may look lovely when dressed to the nines - but what lies beneath could be a different story.

It is not until knickers turn grey and saggy, vests become full of holes and bra straps start fraying that most women decide to invest in some new garments, a study reveals.

Sixty per cent will only ever buy underwear when it needs replacing with just 31 per cent splashing out on bras and pants for special occasions, say market research analysts Mintel.

'Despite the return of saucy Burlesque shows by Dita von Teese and others, British women still take a functional and practical approach to underwear and clearly don't see it as something that can be really sexy and alluring,' says Mintel's senior fashion analyst Katrin Magnussen.

'The underwear industry needs to encourage women to go out there and spend their hard-earned cash on beautiful lingerie that makes them feel really special.

'We need to see more advertising that is fun but also seductive, as the last time we really saw anything along these lines was the "Hello boys!" campaign from Wonderbra, and that came out almost 15 years ago.'

TV programmes such as What Not To Wear and How To Look Good Naked recommend women should have a combination of structured underwear to look good and sets that are a little racier to feel good.

But only 34 per cent buy matching bras and knickers and 36 per cent still mainly purchase multipacks.

Sixty-three per cent spend less than £10 a month on their undies, with just 7 per cent forking out between £21 and £40 a month.

What is more, many women now also buy their smalls from value retailers and supermarkets.

Although Marks & Spencer still leads the way, with 51 per cent of women getting their underwear there, 48 per cent went to Tesco, Matalan, Primark or Asda for their bras and pants last year.

Giving Birth Won't Spoil Your Sex Life

Some women worry that having a vaginal delivery might wreak havoc on their long-term ability to enjoy sex.


Some women worry that having a vaginal delivery might wreak havoc on their long-term ability to enjoy sex. However, a new study has found that the method of delivery--vaginal, Cesarean or vaginal with forceps or vacuum--appears to have little impact on sexual activity one year after childbirth. But the study did find that a woman's sex life before delivery predicted what it would be like afterward.

Dutch researchers surveyed 377 women about their sex lives at 12 weeks into the pregnancy and at one year postpartum and found that those who were not having sex early in the pregnancy were 11 times more likely to be sexually inactive one year after childbirth. "This probably implies that satisfaction with the relationship is an important factor," says study author H.J. van Brummen, M.D., a researcher at University Medical Center Utrecht. The study should reassure women who give birth vaginally that, except in rare cases, physical factors following childbirth shouldn't affect sexual functioning. The scientists had guessed that undergoing a C-section would have less of an impact on later sexual functioning compared with vaginal delivery. "But there was no scientific evidence for that," van Brummen says. "Our study should resolve some of this fear [about vaginal delivery]."

When You're Ready for Sex but He Isn't

The cliche among the new-parent set is that men always want sex and women never do. But believe it or not, some fathers are not exactly chomping at the bit after the baby arrives.

When it comes to their interest in sex, new fathers fall into two camps, says Greg Dillon, M.D., a psychiatrist in New York City. One is those men who see maternity as sexy and find their wives alluring during pregnancy and all phases of new motherhood; the other camp is those who have trouble reconciling the concept of mother with that of sexual partner. Men in the latter group may be less than enthusiastic about getting back into the post-baby sexual groove for complex reasons.

Why he doesn't want it

"One piece of the puzzle for conflicted men is that seeing their wives nurture or care for a baby simply evokes a motherly image, which feels inconsistent with sexuality," says Dillon. "They don't want to equate sex with the images of motherhood."

This is partly because new fathers can't help but think of their own mother, either consciously or unconsciously, when seeing their wife with the baby. Also, fathers who witness childbirth—a wonderful experience but also one that can be disturbingly graphic—can find it traumatic. "His perception of her as a birth-giving mother may contradict his view of her as a lover, which could diminish his sex drive," says Dillon.

If a new father can't reconcile the concept of his wife as a mother and a sexual being and it negatively affects the couple's sex life, then he (or the couple) should seek help from a therapist—and soon. "Questions of sexual attraction can spiral quickly into low self-esteem for both parties and intractable dynamics," Dillon explains. "Guilt and embarrassment can make it hard for either partner to address the issues."

Another cause of alienation—and a far more common one—is the emotional impact of the new baby, says Dillon. The reality is that the presence of the baby plays a much bigger part in men's withdrawal from sex than they are willing to admit. The mother has a new love of her life, and many men feel ashamed of any negative feelings they might have.

"A husband may see his wife kissing the baby and have feelings of jealousy and being left out but be conflicted about confronting the issue," Dillon says, "so instead he shuts down and backs away."

What's a guy to do?

Men need first to address and work through any feelings of jealousy or competition with the new baby by understanding that love for the baby is different from romantic love and that one does not take away from the other, says Dillon. Then they can raise the subject with their partner in a constructive manner rather than a defensive one.

"For example," Dillon says, "he can say, 'I miss spending time alone with you' or 'I booked a sitter; can I take you out on a date?' This addresses his need to reassert his place as her object of romantic love and reassures her that she is attractive and desirable without posing a competitive stance with the new baby."

6 Ways To Keep Your Marriage Intact

Advice on how to keep your marriage happy and healthy.

1. Address marital conflicts before baby arrives. Issues that spark small disagreements before baby comes can cause all-out arguments when you add stress and sleep deprivation to the equation.

2. Avoid other high-stress situations at this time. If possible, put off changing jobs or moving to a new home around the time baby is due. “A lot of people buy a house when they’re expecting, and it’s the worst time,” says Los Angeles psychotherapist Marcia Bernstein, L.C.S.W. “You’re already going through a stressful transition.” Wait at least six months or whenever you resume some sense of a daily routine before taking on a new project or financial obligation.

3. Set limits on visits from relatives. A nonstop stream of house guests can challenge any marriage, but more so now than ever. Agree to time limits, communicate them to visitors and stick with those limits, suggests Bernstein.

4. Talk to other new parents. To be stuck in the house with a newborn for weeks on end can make both of you feel out of touch with the world and resentful. Reach out to other new parents who are in your neighborhood or whom you may have met in a childbirth-education class.

5. Adjust to the family bed. Sleeping together as a family in one bed has its advantages, but if you go the co-sleeping route, make sure you find other comfortable places in the house for cuddling and sex.

6. If the road gets rocky, seek help. Don’t wait until you’re on the verge of divorce to talk with a marriage counselor. Sometimes just a few sessions with a qualified therapist can open clogged lines of communication.